Five Factors That Determine How Kids Come Through a Divorce.
A free guide to the five things research has found actually predict how a child adjusts to divorce, and most of them are things a parent can influence.
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Divorce is hard on everyone, and especially on kids.
But it doesn't have to go one way. Most parents end up piecing together advice from wherever they can find it and hoping it applies. Psychologist Elizabeth Ellis pulled together the research in her book Divorce Wars and found 5 factors that make the real difference.
I've boiled them down to 1 page you can read in under 3 minutes. The video below tells you where this comes from and how I use it.
The five factors that determine the outcome of divorce for children:
Every one of these is something a parent has real influence over, even in the middle of a hard divorce. That's the point of the guide: not just what's happening, but what you can actually do something about with each one. The guide walks through exactly where to start.
- How much conflict the children are exposed to.
- Not whether the divorce happens, but how much fighting the kids see and feel, and whether it's about them.
- The quality of each parent's relationship with the children.
- Shaped by access, and by whether either parent tries to pull the kids away from the other.
- Your own emotional stability, or whoever your kids lean on most.
- That person needs to be steady enough to meet their needs.
- Economic hardship.
- The financial strain that comes with splitting one household into two, and how much it spills onto the kids.
- How many disruptions the children go through.
- Moves, new caretakers, changes in schedule, layered on top of the divorce itself.
I'm Dr. Paul Jenkins.
I'm a Positivity Psychologist with more than 30 years in clinical practice, and for almost 13 years of that I worked as a child custody evaluator for the courts. I sat with a lot of angry, hurting families trying to figure out how to share their kids, and I learned what actually moves the needle for a child's adjustment. This guide is that research, from Elizabeth Ellis's book Divorce Wars, put in plain language. Most parents I worked with never saw a list like this until years into their case, after a lot of guessing. That's the reason I'm giving it to you free, right now, instead of waiting for you to ask.
Just let me know where to send it.
Check your inbox now. The guide will be there, ready to read in a few minutes, along with a short note on where to start.